Here are some questions for you:
(1) Frustrated Christian Female, New York - I've been dating this gentleman for 10 months, just as with every relationship we started off real good, he would do everything a gentleman would do then out of nowhere he starts acting differently hes inconsistent, I feel he is not being truthful and seems distracted and its throwing me off. After speaking with a friend I decided to search his phone and to my disappointment he was cheating with not one but several women. As a person of faith I'm wondering what are my next steps and how do I heal from yet another heartbreak. I'm sick of it!!!
ANS: Good day to you, I am extremely sorry about your experience as it relates to your relationship. More than often men and women who seemingly look distracted from their spouses are either entertaining someone, or "looking over" the fence as the proverberbal qoutes states.
However,i do not agree with the suggestion that was made by your friend to search his phone, which i believe is his personal possession, therefore, i don't think that itwas your to invade his privacy. With that said, i like to suggest a few things as you contemplate going forward.
Firstly, i want you to know that your choice and or decision to stay or leave this person is soley up to you. i will suggest that you talk with him re enforce your expectation of him regarding a relationship,integrity and honesty. tactfully ask him to respond to these expectations as its important to you.
secondly, understand that if your principles are compromised as a Believer in Christ, then you have to think seriously who you choose tobe with. Never compromise your Walk with God for anything nor anyone. Therefore, if your present relationship does not Glorfiy Christ with his actions, then you have to think seriously what you do. Marriage dont change people for the better,whatever issues you see now, if not changed will be magnified in marriage.
Thirdly, your emotions are at the mercy of your private investigation of his phone, therefore your going to act on that basis. Take a break from him and continue to re evaluate the relationship and objectively decide. Avoid getting and of the discoveries invloved, its a bout you and him, and should you choose to go, go, Time is the friend of Truth, and things in time will come out very clearly to everyone includlng the other persons involved.
Finally, i believer your emotionally intelligent, that is you are not controlled by your emotions, but can think objectively in times of uncertainty,therefore, Choose to wait on God. best wishes to you.
(2) Why is he like that, Jamaican Christian Female - Hi so I've been dating this guy on and off we are not in a committed relationship however we keep in touch for the most part, he has expressed interest in marriage but I'm not ready and I don't feel like I've known him long enough. Anyway we both travel but in this case he left first and brought me nice gift (I guess he was studying me because it was perfect, points!!) so when I traveled I got him something i thought he might have liked. So here's the problem, I told him about it three time and he didn't collect it. I said ok then... then his birthday came around and I re purposed the gift, called and told him i had a birthday gift, he seemed excited at first but that was Oct 1 its November 5 and nothing. What am I not getting?
ANS: Good day to you, he lacks interest in you, i suggest to give him space and allow him to pursue or call. If his interest resumes or hightens then re establish your expectactions going forward. Remind him,while your not fully ready for marriage, please let him know that knowning each other is important. But if he doesnt reach out to you when you give him space, please move on. blessings to you..
(3) Christian Male, Bahamas - Hi I feel like there has been fears instilled in me as a child including fear of making it and fear of not feeling good enough. How do I over come that?
ANS: Good day to you. The fear of failure is quite popular in alot of person's lives, however, you dont have to be crippled by that fear.I recommend that you attemp small goals and see them through, move on to more medium ones and then to major ones. Keep a tract of your accomplishments as points ofreference to proppel you further. additionally, surround yourself with people who will encourage you to be successful and achieve your goals and aspirations. finally, denounce any and every word that was spoken in and or over your life as a child and remind yourself that "Greater is He that is in you, than he that's in the world"! best wishes to you.